< hmmm... >

   I can't believe I'm editing.

   I can't believe that I just apologized to the entire nation for a blog entry that wasn't even in the blogosphere for two minutes before I pulled it out.  It's a cry and shame that here we are, in this day of "free speech," that some of us bloggers are editing our entries for fear of international backlash.

   Granted, I didn't have to apologize.  There's just nothing in that entry that would make me do a Malu Fernandez.  I didn't even do anything wrong there.  Yet the reason why I pulled out that entry at the very last minute is because of fear: I was afraid that some loony out there would demand that I "resign," even if I'm conveniently unemployed.  I was afraid that someone would start branding me names and make me part of the headlines.  I can't believe I even have to be afraid nowadays, even if I'm supposed to be protected by the Constitution, and even if I write through a very thinly-disguised pseudonym.

   It's not that I pander to people, it's just that there are people out there who'd make an enemy out of you because they happen to disagree with you.  Healthy disagreement is one thing, but for people to start frantically commenting and calling you names is another.  Is this the state of the "new digital democracy," that the exercise of free speech is delimited by fear?

   Some "democracy" we live in, even in digital form.  Even I never thought I'd see the day when I'd start pulling out an entry that I worked hard on (even if that qualifier is basically 15 minutes).  Why?  Because you just can't survive a lawsuit that comes from people who feel "offended:" the rich.  The associated.  The protected.  We bloggers don't enjoy the same protection, the same wealth, the same laws that protect journalists, even those who run and write for sex tabloids.

   I can't believe I'm editing.  What am I supposed to write about that wouldn't have me in the clutches of fear?  I mean, it could happen to you, too: while I'm not about to hang my keyboard up because I'm afraid, I am also in a position to speak my mind because I can.  My blog isn't a newsroom, it isn't a court, it isn't a place where I should censure and censor myself.  But not so the blogosphere: not so a place where people can damn you to hell because you have something to say.

   I can't believe I'm editing.  In here, of all places.  It's a cry and shame.